My listy list.

Unless you've been hiding under a Facebook rock, you should all know about this half annoying/half freakishly interesting list of 25 Things going around on Facebook. EVERYONE I know has filled the damn thing out.

And today, I caved and did mine.

For the three of you who don't know, it's simply a list of 25 random things about you. You tag 25 people, who are in theory supposed to list their OWN 25 random things about THEM, tagging you back.

Anyway, I feel 100 percent certain that seven-eighths of the Facebook universe has since completed this task, so tagging someone back is sort of futile. But I digress.

Here's my list.

1) My nickname is Noodles, the back story of which sounds remarkably dirty even though it is 100 percent not. When I feel feisty I share the sounds-kinky version.

2) It took me three weeks to cave into reading everyone's 25 Things list, much less write my own.

3) Since 1998 I have had mailing addresses in Maryland, DC, Kansas, Florida, Northern Ireland, Tennessee, Indiana and Illinois. My mother is running out of space in her address book.

4) I often think I am funny. I am often wrong.

5) Tomatoes freak me the fuck out. They have a gross consistency, a weird texture and they taste nasty. I also think cauliflowers smells like ass.

6) I once got so lit on cheap chardonnay that I threw up 13 times in one morning. I later went to the beach to recover and never drank two bottles of wine in one sitting again.

7) Haikus rock my face/off. I write them all the time./ Here's two from today.
(Note, I did not write the first one. Mine is the sequal.)
Tila Tequila/A seductive carrier/of STDs
Boys? Girls? No problem/for her. Equality! Plus/antibiotics.

8) I'm painfully nosey. And have an amazingly short attention span. Luckily, both mesh well with my chosen career.

9) I frequently imagine what I'd do if I had another career. Among the (likely) improbable options: nurse practitioner, vet, novelist, epidemiologist, zoo keeper/animal trainer, professional crafter/artist.

10) I have been known to converse with my dog. She does not, to my knowledge, converse back.

11) Post-modern is a stupid term. It sounds too academic and no one knows what it means.

12) Words with “pu” in them tend to make me want to cringe. Among them: pubic, putrid, purity, prurient, pubescent, puberty, etc.

13) I have walked atop the roof of the U.S. Capitol building, but was too chicken to climb into Abe Lincoln's lap during a middle-of-the-night trip to the Lincoln Memorial.

14) I am plagued by a slew of irrational fears. At the moment, one of them is that the windows of my 25th floor office will pop out while I am leaning (nose-to-glass) on them to look down at the Chicago River, and then I will plunge head first to my untimely and icy death while no one hears me scream because they are all busy at work down the hall. I also live in fear that something will happen to my mutt and I will not have the money to pay for her health care. I always imagine my plane crashing upon take off and landing. I used to have to jiggle the lock on my door three times before I was satisfied it was shut, otherwise I would spend all day worrying that it had somehow blown open in the wind and thieves had come in and taken all of my stuff while my dog runs away.

15) I sometimes like pets better than people. They aren't jerks, and when they are, at least they're cute and fuzzy.

16) I hate going into independent coffee shops, forgetting where I am, and automatically ordering a venti. It makes me feel like a tool.

17) At 27, I am just beginning to realize that I am an honest-to-goodness adult and don't need permission or approval from my parents for the things that I do.

18) My house is a pit, but organization and spreadsheets make me happy.

19) In college, I legitimately wished I lived in “Dawson's Creek.”

20) My bedtime is at 10 p.m. It always has been and always will be. I am a fantastic bitch when I'm cranky. Or hungry. Or undercaffeinated. Or thirsty. Or, maybe I am just always a fantastic bitch.

21) Fall is my favorite season because it is my best wardrobe. I do not like to show skin, nor do I enjoy looking like that kid in "A Christmas Story."

22) I think children are too needy. Tie your own damn shoe. I'm sure I will change my mind once I have my own.

23) Patience may be a virtue, but it is not one I have. Neither is tolerance for the inept, lazy and stupid. I am tying to work on both.

24) I love to screw up the curve.

25) The more a movie is targeted at teeny-bopper girls the more I am guaranteed to own it.