Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I'm back. (A contemplative post.)

I've kept this blog deliberately quiet since Christmas, even though my life has been decidedly unquiet.

Long (and I mean loooong, drama-filled) story short, the boy and I broke up. I'd tell you more, but since I was the one who ended things, I'm not sure it's my place to share in such a public forum. It's our story, not just mine. And I don't want to make an already uncomfortable situation even worse.

But breakups sucks for everyone involved and it's sad _ heartwrenching, really _ when you realize you won't be spending the rest of your life with the person you thought you would.

So now 2009 is markedly different than I thought it would be as I start over. But I've always been a glass half-full kind of girl. Which is why I'm trying to embrace being a Party of 1 person. And in a weird way, I'm happy to do that, too.

It's like, as much as you love someone and love being with them, you sometimes feel like you lose a little bit of yourself when you move from a singleton to coupleville. I'm looking forward to getting that forgotten bit of me back.

So I'm trying to throw myself into Noodlesdom. Spinning classes. My fabulous church group. Girls nights with the ladies in my life who are just too fabulous for words. Tea. Quilting classes. Books. Books. Books. Even a little home improvement project, which I'll post more details about later, since it directly relates to sewing and crafty hobbies.

It's been two weeks and it's getting easier. An impromptu weekend trip to spend time with my bff ladies in the South totally helped. So did some furniture rearranging. And furious exercise. And several bottles of wine. And a big quilting project.

But then, out of nowhere, those moments creep up on you.

_ Riding the bus to work and realizing you're not sitting next to him.
_ Rolling over in bed and realizing you have the whole thing to yourself.
_ Finding his shirts buried deep in the hamper.
_ Taking down the Christmas tree you bought together.

So I guess that's why I'm like a whirling dervish of activity right now. Because, in addition to helping you get back to being you .... most of all, I think being busy keeps you from being sad. And regardless of who breaks up with who, ending a seemingly forever relationship is decidedly that.

1 comment:

The Modern Gal said...

I'm really glad you posted this. Having your perspective has honestly helped me not be completely angry in the past few days -- sad and upset, but not angry. You're absolutely right. In almost every case, breakups suck for both parties.

I'm so glad you're getting back to the things you love so much. You've got so many cool hobbies and talents, that it would be a shame for you to deny the world those things.

It's funny, some of the very same things that creep up you are doing the same for me -- the tree, the bed, finding stuff of his.

Love you bunches.