My New Year's Eve

Like I said, thanks to a recent breakup, this is my first New Year's Eve flying solo -- boyfriend or otherwise. It's cool, though. In fact, it's great. It's 10:28 p.m. I haven't showered. I'm on my 3rd glass of wine. I'm 90 minutes into a DVR'd Lifetime movie on sororities (holla to my Phi Sigs!). I spent an hour sewing and I cooked a fantabulous dinner for myself.

See? Doesn't this make you droooooool?



For the record, the Mutt Dog has also had a great night. Our activities, however, differ greatly.


Peace out.

Addendum: My new year's also included a chance to ring it in BlackBerry style! Gotta love friends for making sure we're counting down together _ even if we are half a country away.

I'm taking requests!

So, it appears some of you hearted my fancy pants Scrabble pieces picture of my word of the year. I'm happy to make you one of your very own! Just drop me a comment and make sure I have a way to reach you by e-mail. (And let me know if you want B&W, color or both and if you want an "I will" added.)



Lookie, I already made one for the always fab, Ms. H!



All I ask in return is you do something all nice-like to someone else in the next week. Pay it forward, ya know?

Happy 2010, y'all! I'm flipping '09 the bird. Catch you crazies next year!!

In which I cook steak and mock poor spellers

Some of you will be ringing in the new year with style. I will be ringing in the new year in my jammies, kissing the mutt dog at midnight and enjoying a super fabulous steak dinner I plan to cook for myself to celebrate my first-ever 100 percent solo New Year's Eve.

Of course, the folks at my neighborhood grocery store helped make what could have been a sorta depressing evening into one that produced several moments of snickering and word-nerd superiority.

Why? Well, let's just say I hope you enjoy this visual proof of my soon-to-be-cooked filet mignon.



Sigh. Spelling fail, Jewel.

Taking on the Aughts

My lovely pal Ginny wrote up a list of the ten most important milestones she achieved in the past decade and e-mailed it out to some of her closest friends. I loved what she said (among my favorites: "Met the South.") and decided I'd play along too and look back at the past decade.

So, my beloved readers ... here you go. In no specific order: Noodles v. the Aughts.

1) Graduated from college and entered a career with what was probably an overabundance of optimism.

2) Fell in love with that career. Recognized the early signs of burn out. Realized true love comes with a backup plan.

3) Made new friends, but (for the most part) kept the old.

4) Moved to, for varying amount of times: Washington, D.C; Wichita, Kan.; Tampa, Fla.; Belfast, Northern Ireland; Chattanooga, Tenn.; Indianapolis, Ind.; River Forest, Ill.; and Chicago - starting over from scratch almost every time.

5) Adopted a dog, then proceeded to spend copious amounts of money on her medical care, food, toys and subsequent peace offerings with the neighbors who quickly grew tired of her squirrel-fueled barking.

6) Fell in and out of love, breaking a few hearts. Including my own. Several times over.

7) Learned more than I ever expected about myself, my craft, my world and the people whom I love.

8) Bought a condo. Promptly regretted buying a condo.

9) Grew up and became my own person, only to realize that this who growing/becoming thing is a process that will probably never, EVER be finished.

10) Found my faith and became _ I hope, anyway _ a better person for it.

What about you?

In which I sparkle.

Way back yonder, I wrote about Christine Kane's word of the year project to pick a word that establishes your intention for the year. It's a word that guides you through the year and shapes your intention. Think of it is as the better-than-a-resolution New Year's activity.

Anyhoodles, I was struggling to come up with one of my own. I'd been tossing over a few ones: moderation, simplify, release, focus. All seemed to fit. And none seemed to fit. Meanwhile, I'd been yapping away to anyone who would listen about how cool this idea is. At two other friends thought they'd get on board. They picked words right away. And still, I was having trouble.

Fast-forward to this evening. I'm unpacking from a fabulous Christmas trip to see the fam in Maryland and I come across these super-cute pencils I won on Sweet Jessie's giveaway. One, which happens to be in Jessie's picture, says to "sparkle and shine." And it was like, BAM. My word. There it was.

In 2010 ...


I feel like sparkle just ... fits. Everywhere. It encompasses so many of the areas of my life I'd like to improve. It's a reminder of how to behave. What kind of result I should seek from my actions. How to treat others. And how to be.

I sort of love my word. And as a reminder, I took my Scrabble pieces and put them on my bookshelf so I have a daily reminder. So, thanks Jessie. And Christine. And everyone else. Here's to a 2010 that truly sparkles.

Have you picked a word yet? It's not too late. (Well, really, it's never too late! Get on board!)

Carols

I'm in a weird mood. And I've been in one for a few days. But, what gave me a solid 1:26 of laughter today was this video, set to my favoritest carol ever. Also, I sorta worship Animal. He's the best.



So watch it and let me pose these two questions:
A) What's your favorite Christmas carol?
B) Is there anything the Muppets can't improve upon?

Discuss.

A word of the year?

Damn. It's been deep-thinkin' kind of stuff in these parts lately. Sorry for the emotional outpouring. But rest assured, your favorite, foul-mouthed sass monkey (can I even call myself that without offending someone?) is still here. She's just all contemplative. And stuff. That said, this post is going to veer toward the Hallmark channel. Hang with me.

___

Songstress and lifecoach Christine Kane kicks ass. Her music fills my iPod and her blog is a favorite of mine in my reader. Each year, one of her most popular posts is about the word of the year.

The gist is this: Each year, Christine picks one word to help guide her through her whole year. She has a lengthy post here explaining a) why resolutions suck and never work and b) why the word of the year is a good option and explains how the whole system works.

She gives, as an example:

Let’s say you are one of the many people who would normally choose “Get Organized.” You look around to see clutter and crap all over your life. You’re tired of the chaos. So, you think, “I need to get organized. That should be my Resolution this year.”

But then you read this blog. You decide to try it.

You sit with your clutter. You spend a few days pondering words that will inspire you. You realize in an “Ah-Ha!” moment that you tend to cling to lots of things. You’re scared to let go. So you choose the word “Release” because it inspires you in a bigger way than “Get organized.”

So, every time you approach your clutter you remind yourself of that word. “Release,” you say softly. You start to let the clutter go. Eventually, you realize that you’re still holding on to lots more than just physical clutter. You realize that you hold onto resentment at old relationships. “Release,” you remind yourself. You realize that holding on is affecting your diet and health. “Release” applies to some of the extra weight you’ve gained as well. Throughout the year, you can see clearly how much you hold on. “Release” is your touchstone. It grows you throughout the year. It becomes your guiding force, not your harsh standard.

Your clutter became your teacher simply because you shifted your intent towards it. This wouldn’t have happened if you’d opted only to “Get Organized.”

I'm not sure what my word will be yet. But since it's just a few hours away from December, I feel like I'd like to get started on the brain storm.

Maybe Journey? Reclaim? Action? Focus? Conscious?

There are so many to pick from. So, here's to starting the thinking process. Any words inspire you for 2010?

Photo courtesy of BabyGAPModel.

Thanks. Final.

Tomorrow's the first Sunday of Advent. It's my favorite time of the year _ when churches and street corners and living rooms smell like fresh-cut pine. Cookies are baking. Snow is (usually, anyway, here in Chicago) falling. And all just seems right in the world.

Christmas can crazy, too. So much rushing. So much stress. So much worry. So much debt. So much trying to impress.

That's not the part I like.

It's hard. Sometimes impossible, really, to step away from the chaos and focus on the part of the season that I love. So, as the holidays get whole-heartedly underway, here is my wish to you. That you take time to stop and smell the fur trees; pause under mistletoe; share _ share your time, resources, energy, gifts, waist-decimating baked goods; find a way to not get lost in the hustle; And most of all that you find ...


Photo from BeachBlogger.

Thanks. Guest Post. Part 2.

Today's Thanks Challenge guest post comes courtesy of Jason. You can check out his weekly food column _ Windy City Cooking _ every Monday on Beach City Cooking.

_________

Giving Thanks

27 November 2009

Driving on Weldon Spring Road to arrive at the house that was my family's home for the most formative 15 years of my life, I would, inevitably, drive past the back of Pam and Kevin's house.
I knew Pam and Kevin from our church. They were, and are, lovely people. They very best kind of people. Kind and gracious and giving. And, most important of all, caring.

Driving past Pam and Kevin's house during the last six weeks of the year was, and no doubt is, always a pleasure. The back of their house is mostly windows. And when the sun sets at five p.m., and the evening hours are darker than the summer dark the illumination of those windows stood out. And I could see from the road their magnificent tree. Simply, but elegantly, decorated, every time I passed. And there was one holiday season, I forget which, where I was at Pam and Kevin's home while she decorated the tree. I think Kevin and I were watching football or something. Still, thinking back it's a lovely memory, and comforting.

A Facebook exchange brought this memory flooding back a couple of days ago. And with it came all the memories- some joyful, some with regret, all with acceptance- of those formative years. And it got me thinking about the memory of Pam and Kevin's home in the context of gratitude and Thanksgiving.

I'm not thankful that I drove by their home and saw their tree. That's merely the tip of the icicle, as it were. But the water of that icicle was, and again, are, the people themselves. Pam and Kevin opened their home to me, and to us as a youth collective, time and time again. They were always around. Always willing to help us. Always willing to help me through a couple of really rough spots in those high school days. I am thankful I knew them then, and that technology allows me to know them now.

Noodles asked me if I would contribute a piece on thanksgiving for her blog this week. And when I contemplate what I am thankful for, time and time again it gets at one thing more often than any other: people. I'm thankful for the people that have touched my life and the people that continue to populate it.

It's more than just that people have touched my life, or influenced me, or guided me. It's that EXACTLY these people have touched my life, influenced me, and guided me. I think of the most important people in my life in terms of influence- and no doubt Pam and Kevin are right in that list, there are so many names to that list that it would be impossible to ever give them their just due in this column- and it's that they are all people of action, even if the action is as simple as opening the door and welcoming a 16 year old kid into one's home while decorating the tree.

When I think of those influential people, they have shown me more how to live in a thankful way by listening to me, and others, without judgment, without selfishness, and wanting to help, if any is even needed or asked beyond listening.

And so, I do the same. Or try. Am I grateful for all the things I have? Sure. I've been truly blessed with some amazing gifts over the years. They come in many forms- my bedspread that is now worn threadbare that my grandmother hand made; the Paul Auster that changed my literary thinking was a gift from my parents my senior year of high school- but those gifts of remembrance are few and far between. I am more thankful for having a life blessed by people who care, and listen, and help. And for those people, I give thanks.

Thanks. Part 5.

I am thankful that I went almost 29 years before knowing this hideous thing existed. Too bad it couldn't have been longer...

Incidentally, link is semi-NSFW.

Thanks. Part 4. (Delayed)

I am thankful for headache medicine, which saved me from what could have been a no-fun-at-all Thanksgiving night migraine.

Thanks. Guest Post. Part 1.

This guest post in the continuing "Thanks" series comes from my beloved SLS, my super duper friend extraordinaire who kicks ass in so many ways, hearts dogs as much as I do and happily lets me be a dirty bird without judgment. She's also terribly funny and, I hear, bakes one mean-ass pie. And no, I didn't pay her for the final point.

Enjoy.

__________________________

It's always hard to break the longing stare at what you don't have, what you think you want and what could be. But sometimes I look up and see how much I have and am happy. This Thanksgiving I'm thankful for so many things including:

-The dog laying next to me whose feet smell like Fritos
-The roommate on the chair near me who is nice, gives me advice and rent. AND she didn't throw up in my car last night when I drove her home from her birthday celebration
-My family
-My friends who are kind of family too
-The pies that are yet to be made
-The meal that is yet to be eaten
-All other wonderful, exciting and yummy things that are just around the corner in life. (like Noodles, didn't know her two years ago and couldn't make it a day without her now.)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Thanks. Part 3.

To steal a page from Currer Bell's post today...
And since I'm up to my elbows in cake batter...
And because there's a new episode of Glee on tonight ...

I offer these words of wisdom, courtesy of others.

___________

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. - Albert Schweitzer

Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more. - David Steindl-Rast

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. - Denis Waitley

The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings. - Eric Hoffer

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. - JFK


Image via the always amazing Vol25. Buy it here.

Thanks. Part 2.

This is part of my sewing machine, which I keep ready to go in what used to be my dining room before I decided to turn my life upside down and make it a sewing studio.

This is where you say: Uh... Dining room to sewing studio? Not much of a difference, Noodles.

But stick with me... it is. A year ago, I lived with my ex. We were wrong for each other in ways I was just realizing, despite our talk about rings and ceremonies, and we and crammed together into my 600-square-foot condo. The break up was messy and painful. But after he packed his stuff and left, the sewing studio was one of the first things I tackled once I finally put down the ice cream.

Call it reclaiming. Call it a refresh. Call it a couple coats of paint, some bookshelves and some bulletin boards. Whatever it is, it jump started what would wind up being one of many steps I needed to take to move on and stop feeling guilty for the way our breakup went down.

So on the almost one-year anniversary of what now goes down as one of my wiser life choices (I hope he feels the same, too), I'm thankful for yellow paint, reclaimed tables discovered in an alley and bookshelves plundered from the dumpster, and for the chance to give new life to a room that was worn and tired and dark. With some TLC it _ and me _ wound up becoming something shiny and new(ish) and remarkably better than each of us were before.

And for that, I give thanks.

Thanks. Part 1.

Today, for the first installment of the Thanksgiving Challenge, I'm grateful for these 20 things.

_ My bat-shit crazy dog, even though she hogs the bed, occasionally barfs on my floor, and has a freakishly high decibel-per-pound ratio that annoys the neighbors.

_ The chance to be a penpal to my (almost) 101-year-old grandma and the new relationship we're building through letters.

_ My job. When it's good, it's inspiring and thought-provoking. When it's bad, it at least pays the bills.

_ My bus commute to work, (No, really.) for giving me 45 minutes of time twice a day where I am forced to not be in control and am allowed to sit quietly, read, and watch Lake Michigan. And for keeping me from having a car payment.

_ God. For awakening in me a part of myself I didn't know was there.

_ Books and the authors who write them. For taking me away, making me think, and teaching me new things.

_ My friends. For listening to me spiral. For making me laugh. For humoring me. And loving me even though I'm a royal pain in the ass.

_ My sewing machine. For giving me a chance to create and mend.

_ My church. For helping me find a home in Chicago, challenging me to be a better person, and giving me the chance to give back.

_ First snowfalls. First fall leaves. First flowers. To everything there is a season.

_ Down comforters, down pillows, pillow-top mattresses, and Egyptian cotton sheets. Because after a long day, nothing is better.

_ Except maybe a crisp white wine. And a hot bubble bath. All things to be grateful for.

_ Jeans that fit without muffin tops or camel toes, that are just stretchy enough but aren't too baggy at the end of the day. That make my ass look magic and go with dressy shoes or Chucks.

_ A scarf that goes with everything.

_ Generic mac n' cheese. It makes hangovers better.

_ Perspective. With out it, I'd be lost.

_ Outlet malls and sale racks.

_ Trips away from the city. And that feeling of relief when you finally return home.

_ Art.

_ Gummy worms. Because sometimes, you just need to murder a worm with your bare teeth.

_ The smell of Christmas.


So tell me ... What are you grateful for today?


Image via SnoShuu.

A Thanksgiving Challenge

Who: You
What: A challenge to blog about 'thanks' each day this week.
When: Starting today.
Why: Because Thanksgiving is an important reminder of all we need to take a moment and be reminded of what we have and be thankful for it.
How: In a method of your choice.

Here's the deal ... Each day this week, I'll be blogging about "thanks." It might be something about which I'm thankful. (Grammar is only one thing.) A story about thanks. Something related to the noun. Each post will be published by midnight. Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to do the same on your own respective blogs, Facebook pages, Twitter accounts, etc.

Being thankful on Thanksgiving is great. But take a moment to be thankful on other days, too. And let your inspiration flow.

Ready? Set? GO!

ADDENDUM: If you lack the forum for this, I'll gladly accept guest posts.
ADDENDUM Part Deux: Thanks doesn't have to just be words. Maybe you're visual? JPEGS etc. also suffice!

Confessions of an Etsy addict

Chances are, if you read this blog, you've probably got the same type of Etsy addiction I do.

So with the Christmas holidays rolling around (and my own fantasy that I'll be flush with cash this year ... hahahaha. Right.) I thought I'd post some of my favorite Etsy shops with the hope that maybe you'll post and share yours.

Ready? Set? Go!

First up: Paper Prayers -- folk art with a spiritual slant. These crafty ladies have much more on their blog and you can convo them for items that aren't listed in the store. (They make the rounds at a lot of craft shows. I'm currently in love with this piece.



Next comes The Love Shop! How can you not, uh, love it! Great prints with a great message. There are too many fun ones to pick, so I went with this.



The Wheatfield makes me so happy. In fact, I have one of Katie's designs as my background at work. It calms me down AND makes me smile. Incidentally, she's having a sale right now where all prints are $15... Hum. I might have to pick up a few.


I am somewhat convinced that if Vol25 and I ever meet, we'd be instant besties. Of course, she might think I'm bat-shit crazy (also, true) but I just immediately get what she's talking about in her work. Plus, we both heart typewriters.


When I used to live in Chattanooga, I'd see Beth Gumnick's work all over town. Now I have a piece in my house that I picked up during my list visit. It's a hand-painted sign and I LOVE it. You can see more of her work here.



Can you tell I have a think for prints and wall-hangings? Yeah. It's a sickness....

There's, of course, my favorite etsy fabric shops: Whipstitch and FabricWorm. And the fun (and sometimes dirty letterpress) of RarrarPress and YeeHaw Industries.

So what about you? What Etsy shops do you love??? Prints or fabric, jewelry or, well, anything ... Let me know!

Photos via each Etsy shop.

Introspection and a public apology.

I wrestled with posting this tonight. In the end, I opted to do it, figuring that putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard in this case) might be the only way I'd have a chance at feeling better.

At issue? I wasn't a good person this week.

I don't want to rehash what happened. And not many people might even be aware of what has me so glum. But, as I close out the week, I'm know that I'm not entirely proud of myself and my actions. Before you freak out, it wasn't anything major. I didn't commit a crime. I didn't violate any ethical workplace policy. And I certainly didn't kick any homeless puppies. My self-grievance? I gossiped too much. And I don't feel good about it. Not one bit.

I don't like the person I was this week. Layoffs were afoot at work and aside from that, my stress level was about as high as it's ever been _ without the added factor of worrying about my own job and seeing coworkers go. That's not an excuse. I shouldn't have used it as one. I'm a better person than that.

My life has been changing in pretty dramatic fashion these past few years. I can't entirely explain why, or how (which, incidentally, annoys me to absolutely no end), but I can't help feel like I'm on the cusp of something. Of something bigger. Of something powerful. Of being a better person. Of finding something I didn't know I was even looking for. Of just being more than I am. It's amazing and terrifying, awesome and truly inspiring. It's also why I think this week and my bitchy gossiping is bothering me so much.

I want to be a person who does good. Who helps others. Who makes people's world a better place. Who builds them up. Who supports them. Who makes them *want* to be better, which by extension turns me into a better person too.

I wasn't that way this week. That sucks. And for that, I'm very, very sorry.

I can't change the past. I can only control the future. So here's to doing better next time.

Image via ivory.butterflies.

Tell me a story

There's just something about a really great story and a book that you just can't, no matter how hard you try, put down.

I'm a lucky reader, mainly because I spent at least 45 minutes twice a day sitting on a bus during my work commute. It's the most amazing time to read. It's quiet. The bus rumble is quiet. We go up and down Lake Shore Drive and Lake Michigan is out my window. It's my time. My time to think. To pray. To decompress. To watch the sun rise over the water and set behind the skyline. And it's my time to read.

I could take the train to work and back. In fact, it might be even a little faster. But I wouldn't trade my bus time. Not for anything.

Which leads me back to my initial line. I love a good story. While I can't just read one book at a time, if I can find a book that draws me in, that makes me actually take a lunch break to keep reading, I feel like I've hit jackpot.

You know?

But it's hit or miss. It had been a few months since I'd found one of those books. Until last night.

I came home and was frustrated and cranky. I didn't feel like I'd done a particularly good job at work that day. I didn't really want to deal with the world. My life felt like it was in disarray. So I climbed in a steaming hot bath and opened a copy of "Blankets," by Craig Thompson, which an, ahem, boy let me borrow.

One day and 592 pages later, I feel like I'm just coming out of a good read fog. And it makes me so, so happy.

What have you been reading lately? What's your favorite book that just absorbs you? What should I read next?

Image via DazeyChic.

How to throw a non-lame baby shower.

I think baby showers are lame. They're one of my favorite things to rant about because it baffles my mind that smart women get together and spend time doing decidedly stupid games. We're better than that ladies! (Bridal showers, incidentally, are far more lame, however.)

So when some friends and I decided to host a baby shower for our decidedly non-lame friend, we knew we had to do something to honor the fabulousness of this momma to be, without having to deal with a shower game that involves deciphering melted chocolate bars stuffed into diapers.

This weekend was the shower and I've got to say, it was just what we wanted, straight down to the custom-designed invites made by fellow hostess, Kristin.

The menu was, in short, orgasmicly good, thanks to the culinary skills of Ginny. (I was her kitchen bitch where we learned that I am not to ever, EVER assist in the making of deviled eggs. But that is a story for another time.) The only food that was purchased were these petit fours, which came from Publix. Everything else was made from scratch by Ginny with an assist from me.


My favorite was the leek and gruyere tart and the zucchini latkes topped with creme fraiche. Here's Ginny rolling out the dough for the leek and gruyere tart.


Mmmm. Latkes. Some were also topped with a spicy apple chutney.


Ginny rescued my mutilated deviled eggs and gave me something else to do so I couldn't cause further damage. Yep -- I stuffed each of those peppers with a mixture of goat cheese and herbs.



And tarts! Did I mention the lemon tarts, with fresh cream and a raspberry glaze?


The food was awesome, but the company was even better. Here's our favorite pediatrician groping a pregnant belly. Diagnosis: feet on the right, butt further down on the left. Head pointing south. Due date: 3 weeks and counting.


One of the cooler things we did was write notes to baby Josie, which her parents will give her every year on her birthday. I got some cute, blank note cards at The Paper Source and used stamps to personalize each one for each birthday.


Every year, she'll read one card. But every year, she'll also read a note that's short and simple with a quote that I love: "Go into this world well. But more importantly, go into this world and do good." Minor Myers, Jr.



Then it was time for gifts:


We asked each guest to consider skipping the card and instead, inscribe a note to Josie inside the cover of their favorite children's book. Seriously, if you're ever planning a baby shower, DO THIS. Brides-to-be can have stock the bar parties. Why can't babies have stock the bookshelf parties?


And the gifts were so kick ass and thoughtful. Check out this handmade sock monkey. I wanted to steal it. And name her Clementine.


I made a quilt. And this banner for the nursery. It doubled as a shower decoration.


Friends knitted blankets and crocheted the cutest sweater, hat and booties. (Incidently, Kristin, if you're reading this, can I have the hat and booties in growup sizes? Pretty please?)


I'll finish up with sharing my favoritest picture from the whole thing. Let's hope this poor woman births Josie soon, because this cannot be comfortable.

Finished quilt!

This weekend was the much-anticipated baby shower and the delivery of the handmade name banner and quilt!

I'm home sick with strep, so you'll have to delight in the pictures and small captions since I'm too wiped to post any of my usually am!

How it started:


Then I learned to applique. Which, incidentally, was not easy.



It's quilted with a stipple and backed with turquoise minky.



Best part? I finally managed to bind it without it looking like poop! (Credit for that goes to this amazing tutorial.)



Ok, I lied. Learning how to bind wasn't the best part. The best part was seeing her face when she opened it.


Um, Kathleen, you know it's for the BABY, right?


And check it, Chris likes it too!


I can't wait for baby Josie to get here and roll around on this! It was made with love by Aunt Noodles. I think Kathleen knows that, too.


The End.

Boots! Glorious, boots!

I've been cursed when it comes to boots. At least since I've moved to Chicago.

This sucks for a lot of reasons, primarily because in Chicago good boots are about as important as breathing. Think I'm exaggerating? You try to have cold wet feet for six months out of the year and see how full of sunshine you are!

When I moved here three years ago, my coworkers got me a $150 giftcard to Northface as a going away present. My first few days in town, I hit up the store and plopped down $175 on the sturdiest pair of boots I could fine. I tried them on. Tromped around the store and left the store 20 minutes later, boots in hand.

Stupid. Stupid. Extra stupid.

The neophite that I was never factored in the fact that I would have to haul my ass to the train, a half mile away. And back. And then all around downtown. In the heaviest boots on the planet. After about 20 minutes in the things, which had style only Neil Armstrong could appreciate, my feet started to fall asleep. My shins hurt from the walking. Driving was terrifying since I could barely bend my ankle. And eventually, one of the grommets popped off. (Note missing grommet and note that these are in my To Be Donated pile.)



The next winter, I bought a pair of fake Uggs. They were warm and snuggly, but that may be their only redeeming quality. Uggs _ real or faux _ were apparently never made to be worn in snow since they were a) not waterproof and b) lacked the proper traction to keep me upright in the snow and keep my ass bruise free.


I shelved the Fuggs (get it? Faux Uggs?) and picked up a pair of fleece-lined golashes at Target. They were warm enough with thick socks and I could walk in them _ once I got calluses over the blisters they caused. They lasted until March when they sprung a leak after the heel seperated from the sole. I even tried my hiking boots. They were great on the snow, but I had to walk with my arms way out to the sides for balance every time I hit the marble floors of my office or condo (Alas, I'm not so much with the grace.)

Two winters. Three pairs of ineffective boots. Lots of money wasted. And lots of time wasted, too. (Without a backyard, taking a dog on a walk three times a day is NO FUN when you have to stop and lace up your boots and unlace them every time.)

That's why this fall, I became a woman possessed. I researched. I measured. I hopped, stomped, bounced, and read reviews. And I'm happy to report that I am typing this wearing my new-and-fabulous winter boots.



They're lightweight, but warm. They can tough out temperatures of -40. They fit my calves. They feel like sneakers. They come to a few inches below my knee, perfect for the snow drifts here. I'm pretty convinced I can walk for miles in them. And they are going to KICK WINTER'S ASS. Hear that Mother Nature? Me and my boots? They're made for walking. And, honest to God, if I have to buy another pair of snow boots in the next decade, I'm throwing something.