This is a post about an ironing board.

Do not let the title of this post fool you. This is not a euphemism. This post really is about an ironing board. Specifically, this ironing board. Perhaps you'll agree with me that it has seen better days. (Note: All photos shot and edited on my iPhone because I was too lazy to do anything else.)

It's not just that this ironing board is The Ugliest Ironing Board in the History of Ironing Boards. It's that this particular ironing board has also lost a chunk of its padding, making it a shitty ironing board to try to use for its intended ironing purpose. (It's still great at holding groceries, fabric, books and laundry.) Adding insult to ironing injury: my condo is roughly the size of a shoe box. Add that to the fact that I keep my ironing board out a lot because, as anyone who has a sewing habit can tell you, you use your iron a damn lot when your sewing machine is going. Also: I am too lazy to put it back.

All this is to say that the World's Ugliest Ironing Board has been spending a lot of time front and center in my living room. Say it with me: BARF.

I keep thinking I'll sew a new cover. I don't. I keep looking at covers when I see the in the store and almost buy them. But they're too old-lady/paisley/vomit-colored. So I don't.

But on Friday, I found myself clicking through Etsy. Ten minutes and $33 later, I had a new ironing board pad and cover winging their way to me from this super-fabulous store.

For the curious, I disassembled my old cover/pad and discovered this disturbing-looking, totally flattened, and sorta crumbling bit o' foam underneath. It was sad.

Yes. Totally time for an upgrade. Here's the new pad in its bag. For the curious (com'n, nerd out with me), the pad is quilted and teflon-coated. This means it reflects heat, which is kick-ass when you're ironing.

Here's the cover. It's Joel Dewberry's Modern Meadow Sunflower.

Here's an extremely phallic-looking shot of the ironing board with its new pad. Sorta like a quilted space-like uber Trojan, no?

And finally, voila: here 'tis. The finished product. (Try to ignore the shit storm of clutter around it. If I was too lazy to use my real camera, you've GOT to believe I was too lazy to tidy up.)

So there you have it: Six photos and 400 words on my new ironing board cover. And one dick joke thrown in for good measure. (You're welcome.) (That's what she said.)

In which I make a to-do list

My I-Want-To-Make-This-Awesome-Thing-Right-Now list is getting bitch-ass long. (Yes, I used bitch-ass. Your point?)

Anywho, since I am spending more time thinking of things I want to make instead of finishing the projects I have to do (I'm looking at your quilt back, Modern Gal.) I thought I'd show you some things on my crafty to-do list.

I want to make this super-awesome quilt using Anna Maria Horner's latest fabric line, Loulouthi. I like that the big blocks show off the big patterns, and mean that the quilt wouldn't take very long to put together. (I like to plow through projects, not spend years on them. I am all about crafty instant gratification.)

(Photo by Pins & Bobbins; Pattern by Stitched in Color.)


This awesome needlepoint pattern. Keep in mind, I don't needlepoint. But I grew up watching my mom do it and I've been dying to learn and this kit by Modern Needleworks has me drooling, in large part because nothing about it says grandma. And because it's a full kit that has the pattern painted on the canvas. I may be a math nerd at the office, but I refuse to stitch things that require me to count to recreate a pattern. (I'm looking at you Counted Cross Stitch.)


A version of this pillow by The Rebel Homemaker, with warmer colors in the panels.



Anything that could even come, maybe, possibly, sorta close to look as awesome as this stitching by Prints Charming.


And, last but certainly not least, this kick-ass crewel sampler made by Alicia Paulson. The practical among you will point out that I don't know how to do crewel. I will grit my teeth and stomp my feet and say, so?!? And then figure out how to learn.


So that's some of what I've been drooling over. What are you and your fingers itching to get into?

Nesting doll(s)

I can't stop embroidering. Or wanting to make pillows. Luckily, the two seem to go together. (Well, they go together if you're a crafty freak.)

A few weekends ago, I stitched this super-cute Russian nesting doll, using a pattern from Sublime Stitching.

Looks adorable, no?


I started adding sashing when my machine crapped out on me. (Apparently, one cannot sew quilts for two years and not have the insides cleaned. Note to self.) It's since been repaired, but here's the work-in-progress. The fabric on the left will be the backing.

Pillowy Pillows

Because I'm me (and by "me," I mean, strange) the highlight of my staycation was finally getting around to some of those lingering projects. (And by "lingering projects" I mean sewing, which is why the burned-out lightbulbs in the impossible-to-remove light fixture are still dark.)

Anywho, this brings me to these pillows that I recovered, using my stash of Anna Maria Horner's Little Folks voile. I used the dobby yellow print as the center and did some simple piecing with two other fabrics around it. Because the voile is so sheer, I added a layer of fabric stabilizer to the back.



I used some Little Folks flannel on the back and, inspired by some sewing I did with The Modern Gal the weekend before, made a simple envelope enclosure on the back.



I did two pillows before my sewing machine crapped out on me (a story for another time), but I love how they turned out. Simple and sweet, and perfect for my living room.

Embroidered Christmas.

I've come a long way since my sock puppet days. (Although, I believe such maturity probably comes along with, you know, being legally able to drive, vote, drink, lose my 401(k) during a particularly bad day in the market...)

Anyway, even though it's after Christmas AND after Epiphany, which means I'm all kinds of late, I thought I'd show off some pictures of some little handmade gifty things I made for the holidays. I forgot to take pictures of some Christmas tea towels I whipped up for my family, but I did snap some pictures of Christmas ornaments I made as hostess gifts.






For the curious, I just downloaded a fun font, then traced it onto the fabric and stitched from there.

Then, since I couldn't stop embroidering, I made this awesome sexy librarian pillow for my badass librarian friend. I used a Sublime Stitching pattern and just did some basic piecing of fabric around the border.






And then, since I STILL couldn't stop embroidering, I made this pillow for me.

Christmas Quilt. Redux.

I started working on this in August. Got sidetracked by life. Picked it up again briefly in September for a few days. Got sidetracked by life. Blogged about it. Got sidetracked by life. And finally just sat down for five hours this weekend to piece the top quilt together.

I'm planning to back it with a thin teal fleece while quilting it with a warm red thread. Here's a few pictures of the quilt, outside my church on Sunday morning.









The pattern, in case you're curious, is an improvised In and Out quilt by Blue Underground Studios. I added sashing (the white bits on the side) and tweaked the dimensions. I'm still debating the best way to quilt it.

Thoughts?

P.S. One of the cool things about the original quilt pattern is that it was inspired by Chicago's urban architecture. It's a reflection of the windows in downtown building. Click on the "in and out" link above to visualize.

Quilted baby goodness.

Or maybe it should be baby quilted goodness? Either way, behold this gender-neutral baby quilt I made for my friend Sara and her little boy Ben. (Who, at the time, we did not know was a boy.)

I don't know who's cuter! The quilt, the kid or the onesie (which is a gift from my awesome friend Emily.)


Here's a look at the front of the quilt, sans baby.



And the back:


The quilt is less scrappy than my usual ones, although I made it entirely out of stuff already in my stash. Also, it's the second-ever quilt I quilted by myself. Hell to the yeah.

In which I make things.

Because I am a dumbass, I forgot to take pictures of this project while I was working on it. But sometimes, there's something even better than a picture of a finished sewing project on a hanger. What is it? A finished sewing project on a person!

Meet my friend Emily. Or should I say, Rev. Emily.

That's her at her ordination service late last month. And that lovely green number she's wearing around her neck? That's the stole I made for her as an ordination present. Green happens to be her favorite color and it's also the liturgical color for ordinary time, which is a hefty chunk of the liturgical year. (Non church geeks click here to find out what the hell I'm talking about.)

Anyhoodles, since I love Emily and she is 800 percent fabulous, I knew I wanted to make a stole for her big day. I didn't use a pattern, but if I make another one, I'll tweak it a bit so it wasn't so wide. The hardest part was getting the stole to lay flat along the back, so I borrowed a bunch of stoles from my pastor friend and tried to figure out what worked best. (BTW, I have a lot of minister friends. And seminary friends. And yet I have the world's foulest mouth. They love me anyway, because that's the kind of people they are.)

Here's a strangely cropped picture showing Em serving communion to her hubby. Note the pretty back of the stole. Say it with me: Ooooh. Pretty.


And here's an even more strangely cropped picture showing the full stole. It's a little rigid because I put interfacing on both sides, but I hope once it gets a few washings that it softens up a bit.

Even though I forgot to take pictures of the project (and here's where I should give a shoutout to Emily for letting me use her pictures of the blog, since I am a horrible friend and missed the whole service because I was drinking mai tai's on the beach in Hawaii), I had a ton of fun making it. It actually was a pretty simple project and I love the idea of making something for clergy who aren't into the standard stoles that are a) heavily brocaded and look like they were made with my grandmother's old draperies or b) look like they should be accompanied by Birks and a rousing chorus of Kumbaya. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) I really hope I get to make some more!

It's hard to see here, but there's a smattering of stuff from different designers including Denyse Schmidt, Amy Butler, Anna Maria Horner and Art Gallery Fabrics in there. I used mostly fat quarters and lined the back with two different Amy Butler prints.

Woot! And, may I be one of many to say congrats Rev. Emily! I'm so proud of you!

In which I make a mess. And progress.

N.B. If I owe you a long-awaited wedding present that's really going to be more like a Happy First Anniversary! present, read at your own risk.

Many moons ago I started working on a wedding quilt. Started, being the operative word. The pattern was taking forever. None of my colors seemed to go together. I ripped out every seam and started over. A lot. It was just ... icky. Luckily (or at least, luckily if you enjoy procrastinating) everyone on the planet decided to have babies, which kept me up to my eyeballs in baby quilts for a while.

But birthin' season is almost over so now I MUST return to the wedding quilt, which is inspired by this.

I spent about three hours working tonight and only made three blocks. Sigh. I forgot how much is involved in this, especially since I can't use my favorite fast-sewing technique of strip-piecing.

After what felt like an hour of cutting, I had this. One glorious mess. (This is just a part of it.)


I had a hard time taking pictures of the finished blocks. Plus, it's getting late, I'm tired and I don't feel like playing with photoshop to fix the crappy lighting. So pretend this looks STUNNING. Is actually a picture of the whole block. Has cool colors that aren't funky in the light. Is straight. And then multiply it. By a lot. And then your mind can enjoy its imaginary-for-now-but-soon-to-be-actualized awesomeness.


The end.

Itching to sew.

Did anyone else catch Ashley's super-easy-and-cute pillow case tutorial?

OMG! Want! To! Sew! Some! Right! Now! (Also: I really want to use that Anna Maria Horner folksy flannel too. EEEP. Alas, I have none. Whine. And my shop is sold out.)

I'd post her pictures, but I'm not sure what Ashley's rule is on grabbing images, even with attribution. And OMG, how much would it suck if one of your sewing/quilting idols got mad at you!? I'd cry. A lot. And then I'd drink and it'd be OK. But in the interest of not crying and not consuming empty calories, I recommend you just click on the link. Do it for the sake of my waistline and my eyeliner. And trust me, once you look at it, you'll thank me.

Baby quilt goodness

I haven't officially gotten permission from the recipient to post pictures of this baby quilt. So I'm only going to give you a hint of what's on deck for my super-fabulous friend Emily, who is set to birth a splendid little halfpint in May.

Since that's just in time for my birthday, I've launched a full-fledged Name The Babe Noodles effort. So far, she's being stubborn. Whatever. I blame the pregnancy hormones for her inability to listen to reason.

Anyway, since I was SO FREAKIN' lucky to have a three-day weekend (word to the civil rights movement!), I was able to bust out the entire top quilt. As soon as I hit publish, I'm going to whip up the back and then try my hand at actually quilting the damn thing myself, instead of paying someone else to do it. (Emily, I hope I don't mangle this.)

So here's a little eye candy to hold you over until it's finished and I can show it off for real.

Oops.

I have this crazy idea that I want to see how long I can go without buying new clothing. My last purchase was Dec. 24. But uh, I made no such resolution when it came to fabric.

Look what greeted me when I came home from work on Friday? This super-awesome package of goodies from FabricWorm. EEPS!


There's a bunch of Anna Maria Horner's Little Folks voile, and OMG, it's so soft. Plus, some Amy Butler Love fabric, and Denyse Schmidt's Hope Valley. Not to mention a ton of other stuff. Yay!

Finished quilt!

This weekend was the much-anticipated baby shower and the delivery of the handmade name banner and quilt!

I'm home sick with strep, so you'll have to delight in the pictures and small captions since I'm too wiped to post any of my usually am!

How it started:


Then I learned to applique. Which, incidentally, was not easy.



It's quilted with a stipple and backed with turquoise minky.



Best part? I finally managed to bind it without it looking like poop! (Credit for that goes to this amazing tutorial.)



Ok, I lied. Learning how to bind wasn't the best part. The best part was seeing her face when she opened it.


Um, Kathleen, you know it's for the BABY, right?


And check it, Chris likes it too!


I can't wait for baby Josie to get here and roll around on this! It was made with love by Aunt Noodles. I think Kathleen knows that, too.


The End.