Wednesday, February 25, 2009
This stuff only happens to me.
Who: Me, sadly.
What: Horribly embarrassing-yet-funny moment.
When: 7:28 p.m.
Where: Ash Wednesday services at my church.
Why: Static cling.
How: Because I have bad karma.
Picture this. We've just finished with a period of silent meditation. It's time to get up from our seats and head over to the ashes. I get up, put my hands on my back to stretch and am like, what? My shirt must be bunched up.
I adjust. Still feel bunching. Reach under my sweater to fix _ after all, the old people in front of me are taking a REALLY long time to walk up to the ashes _ and then I find it. Yup. A pair of stockings. Stuck like magnets to the inside of my sweater, where apparently, they've been all damn day.
So, I do what any self-respecting girl would do during the solemn part of the service and reach in, yank them out, shove them in my pocket and proceed up for my ashes while trying not to giggle myself into a stupor.
Seriously, universe? Pantyhose? In CHURCH? WTF?? And what I'm at it, what's with all you coworker people who didn't say, "Hey Noodles, looking a little lumpy in the back today..." Did you think I'd just retained some water??
I guess there is an upside to this story.
It could have been my black thong.