Sunday, January 3, 2010

Screw the snuggie. SPLANTS.

That's right, you blanket with sleeves you. I've got my sleeping bag. Specifically, my LL Bean sleeping bag that was purchased sometime around 1989 for a Girl Scouts camping trip.

Since I live in Chicago...
And since it was -1 this morning...
And I have paper thin walls that I swear lack insulation...
And since I have somehow become coldblooded....
And because I'm dying, DYING to start a new fashion craze...

I've taken to zipping myself into my sleeping bag and going about my life in my condo. I watch TV zipped into my sleeping bag. I work on the computer. I play with the mutt dog. I have napped in it too. The only thing I have yet to do while my lower half is ensconced is laundry and cooking. (Mainly because walking in it is kind of like waddling. But with the equivalent of socks on a recently Pledge-covered wood floor.)

While I'm basically waiting to bite it any time now, I think I've come up with a COMPLETELY BRILLIANT IDEA!! There could be a market for Sleeping Bag Pants. SPLANTS!!!!!!

Basically, I'd add suspenders to hold it up, and sorta feet thingies to give me traction. And arm holes. Maybe a few pockets. How effing awesome with that be? (Sidebar, I'm working on a picture of me wearing my splants. Lacking my suspenders and arm holes, photographing it by my self has proven to be a wee bit difficult.

Anyway, I wanted to share my genius with you. Which also might explain why I am, and continue to be, single.

The end.

ADDENDUM: Promptly after writing this, I waddled my splants-wearing self from my desk to the sofa and promptly fell asleep for 2+ hours. Moral of the story: Splants are only for the trained professional.

The end. (Really, this time.)

4 comments:

athensbride said...

Love it. I'll buy your first pair.

The Modern Gal said...

I think you're on to something.

Ms. H said...

DUDE!! I think somebody stole your idea!

Go to jcpenney.com and search for the Snuggle Suit.

Herman said...

The Japanese are always one step ahead of the game.
http://nextround.net/2009/12/22/the-japanese-snuggie-happened/