Saturday’s
Polar Dash 10K was notable for two reasons: I
snagged a PR and, for the first time, managed to get beaten by a dog.
As context, I’ve been beaten in a race by just about
everyone: old people, children (LOTS of children), blind runners being led by
guides, you name it. I once, in a moment of truly shameful competitiveness,
launched into a near-sprint in order to beat an amputee up a hill during a half
marathon. It was NOT my finest moment. (Although I did flash him a thumbs up as
I ran by. So there’s that. But seriously, when you’re in the back of the pack,
the chance to pass someone – ANYONE – is both thrilling and rare.)
However, Saturday marked my first defeat by an
actual canine.
Lining up for the unusually warm race (I busted out cropped
pants and a t-shirt for the 40-degree start), I spotted a woman in front of me
with a tote bag slung around her shoulder. But this wasn’t just any tote bag: this
bag carried a white, shaggy, Muppety -looking tiny dog, who appeared totally
content to just hang there like he (or she) lined up in a race corral every
weekend.
Inching closer, I heard the woman say she and her husband
brought the dog, but didn’t expect to run the race with it. Somehow, though, here
she was, in the 12:00 +/mile area, getting ready to start her 6.2-mile race with the dog and purse in tow.
I turned to a girl behind me.
“We HAVE to be able to run faster than the woman doing the
race with the DOG,” I said.
We eyed the lady suspiciously. She was blonde. Maybe in her
40s. Maybe in her 50s. Lithe. This description definitely did NOT apply to either of us.
“I don’t know if I can,” said The Girl Behind Me.
“Yeah, um. I’m not sure if I can either,” I said, eyeing Dog
Lady like I was on my third drink in a bar.
With that, the race started.
I moved to the side and tried to find my pace and entertain
myself, leapfrogging a few other run-walkers. I’ve been working hard to improve
my pace, so I tried to accelerate a bit with every passing mile. The race had a
few weird moments: the 5K group seemed to miss the turnaround. We all
seemed to miss the first water stop.
Mile 4 dragged. At Mile 5 I decided to try to pick up the
pace even more, figuring the faster I’d run, the faster I’d be done. That’s when I spotted her: Dog
Lady was walking ahead of me. And holy hell, I was going to catch her.
I ran faster and inched closer. Every time I got
close enough to start to pass her, she’d begin to trot, dog carrier in
hand. It went like this for almost a mile. Then finally – FINALLY – around the
6 mile marker, I did it. I PASSED THE WOMAN AND HER DOG.
“HAHAHAHAHA,” I thought victoriously to myself, as I approached the last
turn before the finish line. “ I'M GOING TO BEAT THE WOMAN WITH THE DOG.”
We ran under an underpass and entered Grant Park at the base of a hill that’d
lead us to the finish line. That’s when it happened. Woman With The Dog began
to speed up the hill. I have a firm policy to always sprint the end of
the race, but she was starting well before I was ready. Pumping my arms and
legs I tried to catch her as an onlooker yelled: “Look! First place in the dog
division!"
I won't lie: I contemplated a "bite me" retort.
Blonde Lady kept going, crossing the finish line about five seconds
before I charged through.
I stopped my Garmin and tried to breathe. I looked up,
hoping to find her and her furry companion to at least say "thank you" for pushing me. Thanks in part to the two of them, I’d cut about 2:20 off my best 10K
time that'd I'd recorded in November.
But by then, she and the dog had disappeared into the crowd.
Maybe next year we'll have a rematch.