AmazingAwesomeTasticFabuRificness

The Popster is whiz in the kitchen, so I know that when I get an e-mail from him about a new and easy recipe he's whipped up, there's an above-average chance it'll be awesome. And, true to form, his latest concoction didn't disappoint. In fact, it was so good that I made it twice in one weekend. (You know, for research. And because it takes about 10 minutes to make.)

I offered to let him name the recipe before I blogged about it. He demurred. So as punishment, I'm calling this Dad's Speedy Summer Corn Niblets and he'll have to deal with the fact that his internet infamy comes with a stupid name. (You're welcome, pops. Next time, come up with a title.)

Depending on whether you're making this as a main item or a side, this recipe serves about 1 as a large-sized main dish and 2 as a generous side. It's super easy and delicious. Do not expect left overs. If you want to make a larger batch, figure you'll want about two ears of corn per person.

And please, for the love of God and all that is holy, do not buy bland grocery store corn for this recipe. (Do not even think about buying, shudder, frozen corn. No. Just no.) This dish is ALL about highlighting the super sweetness of fresh summer corn. Run, do not walk, to your local farmer's market or farm stand to buy your corn. (And while you're there, pick up some bell peppers and shallots. Your tummy and your local farmer will thank you.)

Ingredient list:
3 ears of local, farm-fresh corn
1 fresh bell pepper, any color (or, hell, mix and match. Go wild.)
1-2 shallots (I used two, but I like shallots.)
1 clove garlic, the bigger the better. (This is optional. If you are a vampire, do not add garlic.)
Tabasco sauce (several shakes)
Worcestershire sauce (several shakes)
Olive oil (I used grape seed because it was all I had.)

First things first, get everything out. Look at that pretty produce I picked up fresh from Chicago's Green City Market.

The ingredients.

 Next, you're going to shuck the corn and cut off the kernels from the cob with a chef's knife and put them in a bowl. Do not cut your finger. Trust me.

Corn, removed from the cob.

While you're cutting things, dice up a sweet pepper and your shallots. Put the pepper in with the corn. Throw your shallots and your garlic in a saute pan with some oil and saute.

Shallots and garlic, sweating in oil.

Once your shallots are getting clearish, dump in your corn and peppers. Stir on medium-high heat for 2 or 3 minutes. Inhale the sweet smell.

The corn mix.

Next, it's time for spice. Add a few splashes of Tabasco (or in this case, my generic awesome Louisiana hot sauce.)  Then two or three shakes of Worchestershire. Mix together and then continue to saute until corn and peppers are cooked, but still crispish. (Another minute or so.)

Mmmmm. Spicy.

Serve, and voila!I ate the whole damn thing for dinner and was one happy camper.

Voila! Bon Appetite.

Say it with me, people: Thanks, Dad!

Foodgasms and farmers' markets

You would think that after five years in Chicago, I would have -- at some point -- made my way to the Green City Market. Well, er, oopsies. Better late than never, no?

For those non-Chicagoans, GCM is a farmers' market that sells all local, sustainably grown food from farms in Illinois, Indiana, Michigan and Wisconsin. Everything is delicious and in season. And is like foodgasm central. Also, they sell a lot of kale.

$35 in organic produce later (including, for the curious, at least two varieties of kale and one bag of quickly consumed cheese curds.), I had to stop buying things and start taking pictures of them to at least keep my budget from full-on imploding.

But serious, y'all. Look at this food porn! If you're trapped in the city, this is just about heaven.









The last two shots were taken in my living room while I was cooking up a great sweet corn side dish. If you play nice, I'll pass along the recipe.

Over and out. I gotta go eat.

It is hot.

So naturally, this was my dinner last night.


Totally reasonable on Chicago's first 100-degree day in six years, right? RIGHT!?

Soupapalooza

Hello, blog peeps. Fast question:

What's your favorite soup recipe? May I have a copy?

(More explanation to come later.)

Lots of love (and soup),

Noodles

In which I eat scallops and die happy

Every since I came back from Hawaii I've been fighting a losing battle with a newly developed food craving for scallops.

SCALLOPS, y'all. Yes. Scallops.

Not, like, coconut. Or chocolate, or fresh fruit, or any of the normal things people crave. Me? I want scallops. (For the record the last Great Noodles Food Craving was kale. But leafy greens don't have the staying power that the NECTAR OF THE SEA DOES.)

Specifically I want sea scallops finely seared with a bit of clarified butter, Tabasco sauce, and salt and pepper to taste. (Also: scallops? BAH. Crappy. Knock. Off. Food.)

And no, I'm not pregnant. I'm just a Maryland girl at heart with seafood running through my veins. If anything, I blame genetics.

So on that note, off to go sear me some dinner. Y-U-M.


P.S. Of course, one of the many problems with this new addiction of mine, aside from its apparent weirdness, is the fact that sea scallops are effing expensive. At Whole Foods, a pound will run you $19.99. I know, I know, it's Whole Foods. But they're SO DAMN GOOD. I'm currently plowing my way through a pack of frozen sea scallops from Trader Joe's that I bought for the lovely price of $12.99. SCALLLLLLLOOPS.

P.P. S. What are you craving lately?

In which I cook steak and mock poor spellers

Some of you will be ringing in the new year with style. I will be ringing in the new year in my jammies, kissing the mutt dog at midnight and enjoying a super fabulous steak dinner I plan to cook for myself to celebrate my first-ever 100 percent solo New Year's Eve.

Of course, the folks at my neighborhood grocery store helped make what could have been a sorta depressing evening into one that produced several moments of snickering and word-nerd superiority.

Why? Well, let's just say I hope you enjoy this visual proof of my soon-to-be-cooked filet mignon.



Sigh. Spelling fail, Jewel.

How her garden grows.

A green thumb I am not. Instead, I'm a plant murder who commits aggravated, first-degree herbicide. (Chlorocide? Faunacide? Floracide?)

I over-water. Under-sun. Under-water or over-sun. Usually in two weeks, the plant begins to look sickly. A month later, it's time for a funeral. (Other than a once lush and leafy green houseplant, the only thing that faces a swifter certain death in my care is a gold fish. And trust me, I have ample evidence to back up both.)

Since I also lack a learning curve and am fond of reliving my idiotic errors over and over again every year when the temperature climbs I convince myself that I really am FINALLY going to be a capable of raising a plant baby from seed to sprouthood and beyond.

Enter this year: I spied two cute all-in-one herb growing kits for basil and cilantro at a home improvement store. With a price of $2.99 each, I figured I'd give it one more go.

And, BEHOLD!

Cilantro! That is taller every day I get home from work!






Lookie! Itty bitty basil, just waiting to be added to a summer salad!







Maybe this means that I'm not a total failure.

Paydirt, baby.

Sweet Jesus.

I just found a restaurant near my house that serves a prix fixe Sunday brunch, which, for $20, includes unlimited mimosas.

There too many good things to list about this. A) This is all of 30 feet from my church, which makes it a PERFECT brunch spot; B) Mimosas are, quite possibly, my most favorite-ever beverage. Afterall, who wants to start their morning with a screwdriver? Not me! Champagne, baby. That's where it's at. C) Did you see the UNLIMITED MIMOSAS part?

Take a wild stab where you'll find me on Sundays from now on.

Hells yeah!

An ode to beer.

I'm writing this from The Fam's living room in the wonderful state of Maryland.

I'm here because it's the grandma's 100th birthday party tonight and as the only grandchild (on both sides) I'm part of her surprise. I'm a little nervous that my presence might cause her to have a heart attack, and therefore cause me a lifetime of bad karma. But here's hoping ...

Anyway, since USAir hates me, my flight was delayed for a few hours in Philadelphia. So I spent some quality time in the overpriced F Terminal bar drinking (wait for it...) YUENGLING!

Yuengling (pronounced Ying-Ling) is fucking awesome. There's no other way to describe it. It's America's oldest brewery and its hoppy nectar is brewed in Pennsylvania is only available in 10 states along the Eastern Seaboard. This makes me tremendously sad.

But its scarcity in Chicago _ or everywhere else in the U.S. _ makes Yuengling all that more special when I come back home.

So, take it from me ... if you're in the Mid-Atlantic, saddle up to a bar and have a pint. You'll thank me later.

Truffle-tastic.

I had some peeps over for a calorie-laden Christmas fest yesterday. The goal of which, in addition to a wicked sugar high, was to swap recipes for holiday baked goodness.

I was totally swamped with work, but was the lucky recipe holders for these easy peasy truffles.

Total prep time? Maybe 10 minutes. And they look and taste awesome to boot.

Want to make some yumminess yourself? Here's how, courtesy of a recipe from The Mom.

Mom's Knock Your Undies Off Chocolate Faux Truffles

1 page Oreo cookies (Do NOT buy doublestuff.)

1 oz package regular (NOT LOW FAT) cream cheese. Softened at room temperature

1 large container sprinkles

Dump the entire package of cookies in a food processor and pulverize until they're a nice sandy texture. Add softened cream cheese and blend in the processors until it's all mixed together is a dark gooey texture. Then using your hands (Mom's version recommends a melon baller), form tiny balls about an inch to an inch and a quarter in circumference. Roll each ball in a dish full of sprinkles, then place on a cookie tray (lined with freezer paper) and let cool until hardened.

Serve accordingly.

Not that these shouldn't be left out at room temperature for very long, lest you want to give you humble guests food poisoning.

Double chocolate Kahlua indulgence.

The Mom reads this blog, so I'm going to ask her to avert her eyes to this post. Mainly because I'm about to equate our family's double chocolate Kahlua cake to sex.


(WHICH IS REALLY WHY YOU SHOULD STOP READING NOW, MOTHER...)


Ok, phew.


But seriously, this shit is gooooood. Like, if-I-smoked-I'd-need-a-cigarette-after-eating good. I swear, it's right up there with decent (not great, but decent) sex.


Why? Because it's chocolate. With more chocolate. With Kahlua. With soft fluffy goodness. And you can't go wrong with that combination.


Trust me when I say you MUST add this Noodles family treat to your recipe stash. You won't be sorry.

So in keeping with my tradition of PG-13 rated recipe names, I give you, faithful readers, a copy of ...


The Double O Chocolate Kahlua Cake

1 box chocolate cake mix (I usually go for devil's food)
4 eggs
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 cup sour cream (yes, sour cream. Get over it. I never said it was healthy.)
1 cup Kahlua (I use a 1.5 cups and find myself loopy when licking the bowl.)
6-ish oz. semi sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 F. Combine all ingredients, except chocolate chips, and beat with an electric mixer in a large bowl for about 5 minutes. Grease and lightly flour a bundt pan (both steps are KEY, otherwise you get a totally deformed-yet-tasty-cake). Pour batter slowly into pan and then sprinkle chips into the batter. They'll sink into the mix during baking. Cook for 50 minutes, or until an inserted toothpick, fork, super-sharp pointy thing can emerge without cake residue.

To remove cake from pan, I put a plate over the bottom, and then flip while saying a prayer that it just slides out. (Given the sex reference earlier, there are a million dirty thoughts going through my mind right now. But $10 says The Mom is still reading. So I will spare her.) You can serve as is, make a chocolatey ganache to drizzle over it, sprinkle it with powdered sugar, or whatever you want.

Cheers!

Sugar rush

I walked around in the Southport corridor after brunch today, and my already-full stomach decided to pick up dessert bites for later tonight. We planned to walk to Julius Meinl, my favorite favorite favorite shop at Southport and Addison.

But we were full and I got distracted by Sensational Bites anyway.

Needless to say there were four things in this cute little box I brought home. But by the time I got home for pictures, well... yeah.

Salmon. It's what's for dinner.

It's recipe time here at Patches & Paws. This week's installment is healthy (mostly) and delicious (completely) and 100 percent melt-in-your-mouth-succulent.

Seriously. This dish, which I call "Lick Me Baby One More Time Soy-Ginger Salmon" is so good you'll wanna run around naked. Or maybe that's just the wine talking...

1/3 c low-sodium (or regular) soy sauce
2 T olive oil
1/4 t ginger powder (Or 1 T fresh minced ginger)
3 T minced garlic.
1/8 c brown sugar.
1 1/2 t lemon pepper
1/3 c orange juice

Directions:
In small saucepan heat soy sauce and olive oil. Add remainder of ingredients -- except orange juice -- and bring to low boil. Stir until sugar is dissolved. Remove from heat. Let cool for a moment and then pour over salmon filets (I usually use one large filet cut in half or thirds), which have been placed in a baking pan. Brush marinade over fish and chill, covered for about an hour. Then add in orange juice and mix, re-basting fish. Let marinate Then marinate at least 2 more hours. (I've let it sit in the fridge all day.)

Once you're ready to cook, put the salmon filets in a new dish, retaining some of the left-over marinade. Turn over to 375 or 400 degrees. Then cook for about 15 minutes. (About half way through, spoon some more of the retained marinade over the fish to keep it moist.)

I usually serve it with some fresh-steamed broccoli or green beans and some brown rice. Pair it with a crisp chardonnay and you've got yourself a meal that'll be so good you'll want to lick the plate. (I promise.)

Cheers!

Prost! Salud! Sláinte!

FYI, if I blog about a beer, you know it's got to be good. I am, after all, one of those annoying pearls-and-chardonnay girls who sometimes gets wild with a nice Oregon pinot noir. (Although, I swear, I really do have friends. Many of whom think barley and hops counts as a food group.)

But today was long and the stock market (down 800? SERIOUSLY?) roller coaster nearly gave me a heart attack every time the DJIA dipped another 100 points. That explains why 14 hours after I started my work day, the boy and I (along with some friends) kicked back with some Duchesse De Bourgogne and Guitar Hero. Made in Belgium by Brouwerij Verhaeghe, this traditional Flemish red ale is really, really, really freakin' fabulous.

According to people who actually have palates for these things, Duchesse is known for its "smooth with a rich texture and interplay of passion fruit, and chocolate, and a long, dry and acidic finish."

I think it just tastes lovely, smooth and totally different than any other beer I've had. It's slightly sweet and 100 percent fantastic. So, head down to your neighborhood Whole Foods, or kick-ass local liquor store and buy yourself a bottle. Or three.

You can thank me later.

P.S. Want to know how to say "cheers" in all kinds of languages? Click here. Yay interwebs.

It'll make you sweat ...

... Like a whore in church.

Behold, the thusly named Whore in Church Hot Shrimp and Pasta dish. Which is generally kick ass in every way because it a) involves pasta; b) involves shrimp; c) has lots and lots and lots of cheese; and d) is best served with a nice crisp chardonnay. Pretty much, it has the makings for a fantabulous meal.

Wanna try? Here's what to do.

1 lb. uncooked shrimp; pealed.
2 T olive oil
1/4 chopped onion
3 cloves garlic (to taste)
1/2 t cayenne pepper
1/2 t black pepper
3 T basil
1/2 t Tabasco sauce
1 T Worcestershire sauce
1/2 chopped sun dried tomatoes
1 t sugar
3 cups chicken broth
3/4 cup Parmesan cheese
shredded mozzarella (to taste)
1 box bowtie or rigatoni pasta

Cook pasta. While water boils, saute onion and garlic in olive oil for several minutes in a separate non-stick fry pan. Add thyme cayenne pepper and basil. Cook at low heat for several minutes. Add remaining ingredients, except pasta, shrimp and cheese. Cook over low heat until reduced, about half an hour. In another pan, saute shrimp in olive oil and garlic until about 75 percent done. Add shrimp to spicy onion mixture and cook for another 2-4 minutes. Mix over pasta and add cheese. Serve hot.

I'll take mine with a side of yum.

Hot chocolate at breakfast, courtesy of Uncommon Ground.

It's not you. It's the onion.

Onions are the bane of my existence. Ok, not exactly true. (Full disclosure: I'm a total drama queen.)

But, really, few things suck more than wandering around the house -- usually with my chef's knife in hand -- frantically waving at my red, tearing, and blinky eyes while I'm trying to make dinner. (And yes, I've even stooped so low to cut onions while wearing goggles. I'm sure it was comical to all involved.) But really? Who needs all this stress inflicted because of a stupid damn-yet-tasty onion.

It wasn't until I took a knife skills class here, that someone finally showed me a no-cry technique.

It's kind of hard to explain, but check out this neat YouTube video:




Too complicated? Try this on for size. Just chop your onion (any old way) next to your gas stove, while a flame is on. I've heard different reasons why this keeps your eyes tear-free: everything from the flame creating some kind of convection to the fact that the flame helps gaseous sulfur compounds released by the onion burn off before they can irritate your eyes.

Regardless of the science, which I'm sure is fabulously cool, this trick totally works. In fact, tonight's dinner = totally tear free.

If you don't have a gas burner, try a votive candle.
Just don't, you know, burn down your house. Because that would suck more than crying over a stinkin' onion.

Soups for the soul.

The leaves are changing colors in the Windy City and I finally relented and pulled my summer clothes out of the closet. So it seemed like the perfect night to bust out an easy and shockingly healthy soup recipe I love.

I usually like to give my recipes (stolen or no) saucy names. But this one, so far, is pretty g-rated and bland -- pretty much the opposite of the soup itself. The original recipe -- which has the added benefit of being totally Weight Watchers friendly -- can be found here.

Want to try my version? Here's how to do it:

Ingredients:
1 can fat free spicy refried beans
2 cans black beans
1 can diced/minced tomatoes
1 can fat-free chicken broth
1 packet taco seasoning
1/2 onion, finely chopped
2 minced cloves of garlic
2 t cayenne pepper
2 T fresh cilantro
dab of olive oil (or fat-free cooking spray)
low fat cheese (topping -- to taste)

Saute onion and garlic in a pot with a dab of the olive oil over medium-high heat. Mix the remaining ingredients (except for the cheese) together, stirring until mixed well. Then, let simmer for about 30-40 minutes on medium heat, until soup is thickened to taste. Serve in bowl and top with cheese.

I threw in some pre-cooked chicken, which made the dish extra fantastic.